Being jokes
Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m., and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!"
"No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."
Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
I used to be a banker...
But then I lost interest.
What is the hardest part of twerking?
Being black.
What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"