Being jokes
This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."
The first orphan joke be like: What does the orphan not have?
A family.
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
Imagine being emo.
Why do orphans never use other people's Wi-Fi?
So they can be connected.
I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!
I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.
You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."
You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
Why did your parents abandon you?
Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
Q. What's the best part about 28 year olds?
A. There's 20 of them!
I give bubblegum to the homeless so they can chew it and still be hungry.
One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."