Being jokes
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
How can a gay man that is unemployed be productive in the workplace?
Give a blowjob to other gay men in the workplace for money.
This person ( :I ) It wasn't meant to be a joke; it was just to make space like your mother's ass in space because it's so big.
Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.
I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.
My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.
Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
Man: Can you be my girlfriend?
Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.
Man: Oh, here's your rope.
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.
I’ll be hanging with them for a while.
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?
If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
What would a heterosexual woman that is a whore do for $500.00 that a gay man would be willing to do for free for a heterosexual man at a glory hole?
Suck his big cock.
What is the origin of the glory hole?
The origins can be found in San Francisco, California, where historians claim that a meat thermometer was sticking out of a hole from both sides, especially the divider between bathroom stalls inside the men's restroom used for an anonymous massage for gay men by gay men in San Francisco, CA, in the Wild West.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.
What's one advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
Why did Naruto stop trying to get at Sakura?
Why?
Because it would be useless. :)
I have a confession. I used to be a Christian.
Don’t bother me none, babe!
Awesome! I much prefer being a Christine!
“Hol up”
I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.
Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.
Yeah, your legs.