Being jokes
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.
Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have nobody to call "daddy."
What does a gun and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
"Squid Game" doll be like: "Gugu la gu, your mom, my balls!"
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.
They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!
It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.
A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.
Phobos and Deimos are just asteroids in moon costumes, and Mars was blind due to its frequent sandstorms, so it let Phobos and Deimos be its moons.
I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.
The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."
Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth?"
Girl, scan the code on your wrist.
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.