You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
Behavior Jokes
Q: What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
A: Nothing, they just waved! π
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Whatβs the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?
"5 second rule!"
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.
How do you get a retard out of a tree?
Wave at them.
Guys, I promise Iβm not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
Whatβs the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
Americans leave without saying goodbye, and Russians say goodbye without leaving.
Who hates going to a pizza party?
A weirdough.
What's something that 9/10 people enjoy? A gangbang.
