When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((
Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.
Son: Okay, I'll do it!
5 hours later...
Son: I'm done!
Dad: I lied.
Son: So did I!
There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.
What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop?
Dog poop touches grass.
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.
Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Q. What do Danielle Smith and a squirrel have in common?
A. They both always have a mouth full of nuts.
I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?
One falls, while the other hangs.
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?
"5 second rule!"
