Behavior jokes
Addison Banks Age (8)
"I'm a little brat who won't shut the hell up! And stop talking!"
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
"BlessedBrian must be a SMOKE DETECTOR... because he never fails to kill the vibe."
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.
Son: Okay, I'll do it!
5 hours later...
Son: I'm done!
Dad: I lied.
Son: So did I!
Does anyone ever get tired of being random? Me neither.
Why did Bob fall? Because gravity was mad at him.
Why are gay guys so rude?
Because they’re fucking assholes.
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.
What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.
GBM when he sees Soph (gets a boner) and has sex with Soph but realizes he forgot to put on a condom. Soph: "This is why Arsenal fans are so deluded and retarded."
Normal Fans after they lose the game: Good game, you guys played really well. GBM: "BRO REF WHAT THE BLOODY HELL YOU DELUDED ASS RETARD, OMFG WE LOST BECAUSE OF THIS REF!"
Adapt: Hey Adapt, did you know you're smart? Smart for being retarded. Yo Adapt!! You're so stupid that you gave me your Roblox account info and you said thanks about it!!
Barca fans after the LFC vs Barca game: We bottled it, damn it, we'll win the Copa Del Rey tho. Commie after the LFC vs Barca game: "YOU NEVER WALK ALONEEEEEEEEEE" Normal People: I support only 1 team. Commie: I support Barca, LFC, and AEK!! And I'm the biggest plastic in the server!!
My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
So, I met Michael Jackson before he died. He dragged me to his bed.
What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.
I'm too lazy to read gags. http://gestyy.com/eiDOWp
Why do Catholic Irishmen in Ireland have a glory hole in the men's restroom inside their restaurants so they can give Irish kisses on Saint Patrick's Day?
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"