Behavior jokes

Why are orphans rude at school?

What's the school going to do? Call their parents?

Mom told me drugs are my enemies.

Jesus said to like your enemies.

Yay, I can like drugs then!

Gwen be like: Oh, I hate akeld, he is mean.

Also Gwen: *Spams the N word and momma jokes*

Boy goes to Confession.

Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"

Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."

Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"

Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"

-not my joke

If you're bored, hump Danny and fuck him. What is he, goons do fuck rock?

Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?

Where's your off button?

If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

What happens when an emo goes to the grocery store? The cashier scans their wrist too.

A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!

B: Thank you.

A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

Some people are such "treasures" that you just want to bury them.

What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop?

Dog poop touches grass.

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

If you are going to bully anyone, then bully an orphan, because what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Are you sure your father isn't a thief?

Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.