Behavior jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get on the person's face.
I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"
The 3 life rules:
1.
2.
3.
Oh, there are no rules, because you have no life.
Karens yell, I scream, my mum fucks me.
If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.
Aliens
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
Your mom walked into another bar and broke all the furniture. Again.
Why are gay guys so rude?
Because they’re fucking assholes.
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
My uncles like the moon.
He comes out at night.
Why do people call priests "Father"?
Because it’s too suspicious to call them "Daddy."
If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.
Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.
Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
Why did the booty break up with the fart?
It was just too much GASLIGHTING.
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.