Behavior jokes
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
What do you call cringe?
You.
Why was the cow afraid?
Because he's a coward!
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?
Cause they want to become Super Man.
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.
"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"
Stop bullying orphans!
What if they tell their parents?
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.