Beer

Beer jokes

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  • Meaning behind the German flag: 🇩🇪 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars.

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  • Bride

  • A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."

    Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.

    "Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?

    "You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.

    Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.

    Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"

    Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."

  • 0
  • Condom

  • A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.

    The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."

    The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."

    The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.

  • 1
  • Man

  • An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.

    After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."

    Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.

    The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."

  • 3
  • Horse

  • A horse walks into a bar.

    Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

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  • Community talk

  • (Continue it in da comments!)

    100 bottles of beer on da wall, 100 bottles of beer~! You take one down, You pass it around, Now you’ve got 99 bottles of beer on the wall!

  • Grass is a type of plant with narrow leaves growing from the base. A common kind of grass is used to cover the ground in places such as lawns and parks. Grass is usually the color green. Grasses are monocotyledon herbaceous plants.

    The grasses include the "grass" of the family Poaceae. This family is also called Gramineae. The family also include some of the sedges (Cyperaceae) and the rushes (Juncaceae).[1] These t… Read more