Beat jokes
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
khi beats his meat to weed- germiah.
I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.
Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
Why was the rapper always on time?
Because they had a PHAT BEAT to keep them in check!
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
How did the air beat me at chess? It did that thing, haha!
A gay man enters a bar. At the counter, he sees a skinhead sitting, which he somehow finds cute. He gathers all his courage, goes to the skinhead and whispers to him, "Do you want a blowjob?"
The skinhead punches the gay man in the face with his fist, causing him to go down. Then he drags him outside into the parking lot and kicks him again with his boots before going back inside and sitting down at the counter.
"Man," says the bartender, "but you beat him up quite a bit! What did the man even say to you that you were so freaked out?"
"I don't know," replies the skinhead, "something about a job..."
Why was the rapper always the first one at the party?
Because he never missed a beat!
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.
I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.
Ring ring.
Abortion clinic!
Where no fetus can beat us.
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always know where the BEAT is.
How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?
Skelesore.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.