Beat jokes

My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.

Why didn't Trump beat Biden?

Because he couldn't trump that bitch!

It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.

It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.

What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.

If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.

One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.

When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.

Serves him right.

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."

What made his beats so bad?

His name.

If you're ever bored, just beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What’s the difference between video games and my dad?

My dad doesn’t beat me.

I actually want peace, not war.

That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.

What did the beat say to the rapper?

"You've got me DROPPING like it's HOT!"

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!

So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.

Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.

Why did the rapper open a bakery?

To make some DOUGH while he dropped his beats!

Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

Ok, so let me tell y'all the lore. Basically, what happened was there's these mfs called Rhys and a guy named Mobrur. Mobrur is a fish basically from Bangladesh and Israel, so he's just a fish because he's Netanyahu's cousin, and Liam is from Australia; he's just a white piece of crap.

Basically, what happened was they knocked up each other because they were drunk and jumping on Netanyahu's beer belly, and it was all just a mess. Rhys is trying to get child support and half property from Fish, but he won't give it because he is nasty and claiming what isn't his, and he said, "No one likes you." So to summarize it, he killed him and is in jail now.

And there he met Mooha and he turned straight, Alhamdulillah! EVERYONE SAY ALHAMDULILLAH! He became straight, then Mooha got knocked up in prison and the guards beat them and they died.

Cancer is like a video game.

Some people cannot beat it.