Beat jokes
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Only.
Only who?
Only you make my heart beat fast.
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
A gay man enters a bar. At the counter, he sees a skinhead sitting, which he somehow finds cute. He gathers all his courage, goes to the skinhead and whispers to him, "Do you want a blowjob?"
The skinhead punches the gay man in the face with his fist, causing him to go down. Then he drags him outside into the parking lot and kicks him again with his boots before going back inside and sitting down at the counter.
"Man," says the bartender, "but you beat him up quite a bit! What did the man even say to you that you were so freaked out?"
"I don't know," replies the skinhead, "something about a job..."
I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!
When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Why did the rapper become a MATH TEACHER?
Because he was good with bars and beats.
What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"
I just beat the Hollow Knight and found it takes 26 hours to beat it, but it took me 69 hours to beat it.
What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?
Beat It.
Let's beat that "lEtS gET 69 LikEs anD CoMmEntS" with 21 dislikes on this post. #21gang
How did the air beat me at chess? It did that thing, haha!
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
Why do I call my dog a vibrator?
Because every time my dog acts like a dildo, I beat him, and when I beat him, he shakes. What do you call a shaking dildo? A vibrator, therefore I call my dog a vibrator.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always follow the beat.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."