New Beat Up Jokes

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.

I thought a few hits would cheer him up!

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.

I beat up my twin friends with a plane.

What do you do when you're bored?

Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

Russia be like we're strong, gets ass beat up by a comedian with a hook nose...

#i stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦

Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.

I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.

Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school.

The teacher asked why he had one. He said, "I need it to beat up the principal!"

When the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well, let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.

One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!