Beat up jokes

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??

It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

What can change color and get beat up?

You.

I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.

Q: Why did Sally get beat up?

A: She couldn’t fight back.

If you're ever bored, just beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.

I beat up my twin friends with a plane.

I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.

Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.

There's nothing else that can beat up dog.

What's up, dog?

Just my depression!

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

I don't beat up midgets.

That would be punching down.

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?

"I woke up Chris Breezy."

What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?

Mashed potatoes.

One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.