Beat up jokes
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.
What do you do when you're bored?
Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!
Ooohhh look, an orphan! Let's go beat him up.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.
What can change color and get beat up?
You.
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!
If you're ever bored, just beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
I beat up my twin friends with a plane.
I don't beat up midgets.
That would be punching down.
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.
I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.
Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.
You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?