Beat up

Beat Up Jokes

Orphan

Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??

Dwarf

It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

Kid

I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.

Orphan

If you're ever bored, just beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

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  • Suspicion

    I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.

    Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.

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  • Rose

    Roses are red, violets are blue,

    I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.

    Dog

    There's nothing else that can beat up dog.

    What's up, dog?

    Just my depression!

    Sticker

    When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

    Kid

    What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?

    Mashed potatoes.

    Kid

    I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

    Killer

    One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!

    Orphan

    What do you do when you're bored?

    Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

    Orphan

    Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.

    Musician

    I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.

    I thought a few hits would cheer him up!

    Principal

    Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school.

    The teacher asked why he had one. He said, "I need it to beat up the principal!"

    When the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well, let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.

    Donkey

    A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.