Bathroom jokes
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
What do butts say?
"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"
A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
Why can't a woman find a glory hole inside of the lady's room?
Because piss comes out of a woman's pussy.
So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
Why do people poop?
Because it we need to!
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
Who is the Hamburglar's perverted cousin?
The Turdburglar.
You really do not want to see the mess these two make of the washrooms in a fast food joint.
Diarrhea.
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
"I wasn't that drunk yesterday."
"Oh boy, you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
Pop in the toilet.
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.
That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.