You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap no feet 9 arms 17 stomachs you stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat NBA youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek
what happens when theres ten people innone house and they all have to shit and theres one bathroom?
its a motherfucking shitz party
“Don’t sneeze”
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends I would always tell them “Don’t sneeze” and when I did they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed we laughed even harder.
Also,
“It dangles and swung” Language art quizzes are the best
"so I was at high school one day in the bathrooms and I'm circumcised and the kid next to me wasn't so he showed me his pp and he had a foreskin so I was just playing with it until the teacher walked in, then I got fired..."
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an englishman. He says things like,
"It's a elevator, not'a lift!"
and
"It's bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the englishman says,
"Hey wankar, it's a school, not a god damned shootin range."
Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
your so dumb that Everytime you use the bathroom you use your shoe to wipe your ass
Susie was in her mother's room one night. As her mother was getting ready for bed. She had slipped off her blouse, her boobs plum and perky. Susie had asked what are those and will i get them? Her mother had said they were boobs and she would grow some in a few year's. Her mother told susie to find her father and say goodnight. So susie left, headed down the hall to the bathroom where her father was showering . Susie knocked on the door, he said come in. He had moved the shower curtain over just a bit. Susie said she loved him, and then seen her father's dick. Shocked, susie asked her father what that was and if she would get one. Her father said it was a dick, he said susie would get it after her mother went to bed .
How do you turn get a straight guy into you a gay guy well.... For starts you grab that ass of his drag him into the bathroom and tell him to suck my long big pineapple and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into dick suckin machine
I feel bad for cumming on my turtle
Why the fuck would I do that. I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn in my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me in the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watch and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with my I wouldn't feel lonely. Well I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, i took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forgot the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forgot what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what i did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish, is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.
Where are the ping pong balls? check the bathroom stalls
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chilli in the bowl.
I wondered y there was red all over my bathroom til I found out tht my sis had dyed her hair red man it looked like somebody dyed in there! lol
I once masturbated in the bathroom
I was looking for something, for a little help
Looked in the wardrobe And found something perfect.
I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN
Bro you were born in a local 7 eleven bathroom
whats braver than coming out gay ? taking a shit in a elementary school bathroom with those 2 kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
why did the pikachu say pi?? he had to use the bathroom
Why was goofy in the bathroom he was goofing off
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that
A little girl walks into the bathroom see her mom naked taking a shower and asks mommy mommy when am I gunna get breasts ..mom say oh when your 12 or 13 ..little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks mommy mommy when am I gunna get hair down there ..mom say oh about the same time you get breasts..then the little girl walks in see her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks daddy daddy when am I gunna get one of those ..dad says soon as your mom leaves for work
