The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.
What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?
The priest stopped him on the way there.
What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?
A Corgi Potty.
I am having a shit and there[sic] nothing else to read.
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.
The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
The toilet paper tried to cross the road. He couldn't because he was stuck in a crack.
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
my water was leaking, so i used flex tape. now i don't know where to shower. Thanks Phil
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
Why take a nap on the toilet?
Because it's a restroom.
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" The man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon."
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.
I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.
A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.
"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
"Good, but where's the p?"
"Running down my leg."
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
