Bathroom jokes
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor!" she said.
"S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber."
They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B."
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?"
"I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.
"Spot on!" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples."
"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper."
Why did the guy take a bath? Because he came, and it was too much of a mess.
Why doesn’t Chuck Norris flush the toilet?
He doesn’t have to, he scares the shit out of the toilet.
It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.
Maishah, the poo comes from an old bathroom in a country starting with B.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ididap.
Ididap who?
That's the joke, you did a poo!
Why does Helen Keller look in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
How do you make a blind girl smile? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.
Cam likes to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee a lot.
If you're Canadian in the kitchen, then what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Why did the Pikachu say "Pi"??
He had to use the bathroom!
A hot woman called "Jessie" was showering when the phone rang.
Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall.
Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》
The one on the phone: 《Oh hi, I'm Jeff, I just wanted to tell you don't go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you.》
Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! This is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! It gets boring!》
But sadly it wasn't a joke, and she cried a lot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.
How did the toilet react when it received a gift?
That was so pot full (thoughtful)!
I'm going to piss on the floor.
Read if gay.
Aha!
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because he got stuck in a crack.
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.