Bathroom jokes
Q: Why was the potty sad?
A: Diarrhea
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.
Yo momma so stupid, she pooped in the shower.
What do Cavemen poop in?
A Neander stall.
When you're Russian to the bathroom, and when you're finished you're from Finland, what are you when you are IN the bathroom?
European.
Poooooooooooooooooooooop!
Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.
Why did Helen Keller walk in on someone in the bathroom?
Because she didn’t know it was the bathroom.
So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.
It's all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor!" she said.
"S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber."
They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B."
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?"
"I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.
"Spot on!" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples."
"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper."
Why did the guy take a bath? Because he came, and it was too much of a mess.
Why doesn’t Chuck Norris flush the toilet?
He doesn’t have to, he scares the shit out of the toilet.
It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.
Maishah, the poo comes from an old bathroom in a country starting with B.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ididap.
Ididap who?
That's the joke, you did a poo!
Why does Helen Keller look in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
How do you make a blind girl smile? Leave the plunger in the toilet.