*Say I'm a man after every sentence* You walk into a bar. (I'm a man) You find a girl . ( I'm a man) You take her home.(I'm a man) She whispers in your ear.(I'm a man)
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "how much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "for you? No charge!"
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint...my....house.’
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says "oh my god your shoulders are broad!" another woman says "are you sure it's a woman?"
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
Three men walk into a bar.. you would have thought the last one would have ducked
I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."
I was in a bar in Italy, me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number, I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found, I turned back then I saw Pessi running with it, shame on you Pessi for ruining my night! 😭
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks then he'll have to call his pub a Mars Bar
So I was sitting at a bar right, That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.
A bear walks into bar and ask the barkeep "Can i have a grilled...............cheese" and the barkeep asks the bear "Whats with the big pause" the bears says "Well I'm a bear"
A termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey, is the bar tender here?"
so a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says "you cant be here"
and the mushroom says "why i'm a Fungi"
three conspiracy theories walked into a bar now tell me that's not a coincidence.
Steven hawking walks into a bar.... no I'm just kidding.
3 Nazis walk into a BAR
A woman walks into a bar, and says ow.
Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10
Blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar. The Blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash. The bartender yells Sir Stop! What are you doing!? The Blind guy say, I'm just looking around.
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
