Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10
Blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar. The Blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash. The bartender yells Sir Stop! What are you doing!? The Blind guy say, I'm just looking around.
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
Where do terrorists go for a drink? At the Allahu-ak Bar
A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says “Where’s Mohammed?
A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head, the bartender asks him nervously “are you okay” the blind man replies “yeah I’m just looking around”
Your mama is so stupid that when she heard drinks were on the house, she grabbed a ladder.
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please." she says. The bartender says "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
A very rich and famous comedian walked in to a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - This vodka isn't good enough for you. - If it is good enough for you it is gudonov for me!
Dog walks into a bar.. & Sez to bartender . I'm looking for the man who shot my paw..
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh.. I thought you saw inside the basement.."
"Wait, wha.."
"What?"
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
A dolphin swims into a bar, and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.
so, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar- oh, wait a minute!!!! rewind!! so, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......
Stephanie
An Irish man walks out of a bar. It can happen.
A man walks into a bar "Why am I so bad at Limbo?"
I tried to get into an emo bar but I didn't make the cut.
A snake walks into the bar...the bartender says “How the heck did you do that?”
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." "Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. ! She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" "No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?"
