Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.

Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.

Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book. Man 2: aww books aren’t that bad. I’m sure she thinks you’re a great son considering she can’t drive anymore. Man 1: She was in the road and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can’t drive or do anything anymore

You really can’t call Starlin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die

You really can’t call starlin bad just think about the kids that depression.

What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick

what do you call a bad joke

A bad noah

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah \

Mom:they say our kid neighbor has a blue blood Son:really? Also 2 hour later Son:mom the kid doesnt have a blue blood Mom:son i-

Sorry for my bad english U-U

A woman is in hospital giving birth , Dr comes up to her afterwards.

Dr " I’m sorry I have good news and bad news "

Woman " What’s the bad news ? "

Dr " Your baby is Ginger "

Woman " ok, so what’s the good news ? "

Dr " Its dead !!! "

Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by

True Story of Little Red Riding Hood The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looled at her pussy and said "Now I will fuck you! " Red pulled-out a shotgun from umder her coat and said “Oh no you"re not. You’re not, you’re going to eat me just like it says in the book!”

The other day my friend messaged by saying “bro I have two pieces of bad news for you.” I told him to combine them. He replied with “your girlfriend is cheating on both of us.”

The village people said that they need their idiot back you better get going

my love life

Me:Sister STOP STEALING MY STUFF OR I WILL MAKE U FEEL BAD Sister:No I wont stop Me:Fine im telling the world what u did Sister:What you will see when i post it Sister:WHY DID U TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD ME:BECAUSE U DON´T HAVE A LIFE

Slavery has existed in the western world for 3 centuries, but in the Arab regions it has existed before and still going on, so why don’t people talk about it? Because it’s only bad when white people do it

The other day a squirrel asked me for a job, I asked him what jobs did you have previously. Calmly he answered," I am a pilot, I can pick it up from here and pile it over there, I also can fly a sign!!!" " To bad, this is a nut cannery, and we’re 100% automated, we don’t need anyone at this time, sorry." " No worries, I’m totally nuts anyway, guess I’ll fly a sign across town, don’t have bus fare!!!"

Is Google a girl or a boy?

Obviously a Girl, because it won’t let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.

(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes)

What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead. 4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Hi I 🤼‍♀️🤼‍♀️🤼‍♀️🏋🏿‍♂️🏋🏿‍♂️🏋🏿‍♂️🏋🏿‍♂️🤸🏿‍♀️🤸🏿‍♀️🤸🏼‍♀️🏋🏻‍♂️

Wife:I think these pants are getting too small for me!

Husband: Dont worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.