Bad Jokes

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”

Why are orphans bad at basketball?

They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them.

Emo girls are bad, but what's worse? Cutting yourself.

What did the shirt say to the pants?

Belt.

If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.

Your hairline is so bad that you have a humongous forehead.

Your hairline [is] so bad even your mama left you.

Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"

There were 5 people on an airplane.

1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world

The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."

"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."

The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.

The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.

The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.

Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"

And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"

Your hairline's so bad, your dad went to get the milk and never came back. Years later, he comes back and says, "Go get a hairline, boy."

If you think your life is bad, then people are discussing the gender of Mr. Potato Head.

It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.

The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!

Why is England so bad at Clash of Clans?

Because they lost their queen.

Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.

(Not an orphan joke).

Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?

Because they've lost 2 towers.

This isn’t a joke. Quiet kid jokes are so cliché. Like since when was there an original quiet kid joke like smh. Doesn’t help because I’m a quiet kid and people act as if I’m so dangerous and it’s like the only thing they say to me. Being judged as some big bad monster for being AN INTROVERT!! These jokes used to be funny to me, but now I’m just sick of them...

Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.

Your hairline is so bad that the queen died when looking at it!

Every bad joke can become a good joke with a good delivery, but abortion jokes, they have no delivery.