Bad jokes
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
I gave my friends some buttons.
Too bad he couldn't pull himself together.
How Jupiter was discovered.
Once there was a fat lady who farted yellow, orange, and peach. All that fart went to space and created a planet that NASA saw and went over there, but it smelled really bad.
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!
Why is Trump bad with America? Because he made it scream.
What do you call a rapper with bad manners?
RUDE-ICROUS
Why was the rapper bad at basketball?
He could only dribble rhymes.
I'm so friking dumb, even I need Joe Mama so fricking bad.
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?
You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.
Why do Asians abandon their children?
They're bad at math.
Why do gay people get bad grades?
Because they don't get straight A's.
Your hairline jokes are so bad that they make me want to rip all my hair out.
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
If you're having a bad day, just remember the Blobfish exists.
Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
This isn't a joke.
There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!