Bad jokes

God creates a wasp :)

God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.

Angel: okay... a bug.

God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.

Angel: weird.. but okay...

God: and give it wings.

Angel: eh, not half bad Go-

God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS

Angel: *shook* o-okay

God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.

Angel: . - .

God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*

Angel: *cries*

Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*

I'm tired of seeing Mal's joke the second I open up the site. It's not a bad joke. I'm just tired of it.

Badminton: Your breath is so bad that you have to take a mint before you go on Fortnite.

What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.

Your hairline is so bad, not even God could save it.

I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?

There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."

Maybe Leo actually isn’t stupid... maybe she just has bad luck with thinking!

Why is the US so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.

There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.

People who torture others for making bad puns should be severely punished.

He wasn't that bad.

What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.

Laugh.

Why did Michael Jackson allow little boys to sleep in his house? Because he's bad.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?

Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.

*True story*

I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"

Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.

Too bad only one was standing. :)

Why can't an orphan be gay?

Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy". (My bad if this offended anyone.)