Bad jokes
What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).
Why couldn’t wheelchair Harry Potter go to Hogwarts?
They had no wheelchair ramps or elevators...
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.
Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."
Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."
"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."
Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
What do you call an Asian, a blind man, and a very bad driver?
Where does bad light end up at?
In prism.
Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back.
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well... your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you can't even do that.
And your IQ is 5.
I'm so friking dumb, even I need Joe Mama so fricking bad.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
Jesus stinks so bad he killed all living things in Heaven.
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
What did the cow say to the sheep?
“Moo!”
What did the sheep say to the cow?
“That was a bad joke!”
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... she had really bad balance.
How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!
Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will actually look for them.
Why are uncles like curries?
Because bad ones hurt your asshole.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps on running from the ball.