Bad Jokes

What do you say to toast with bad shoes?

"Butter those."

Why is Trump bad with America? Because he made it scream.

Why do Asians abandon their children?

They're bad at math.

Your hairline jokes are so bad that they make me want to rip all my hair out.

I'm so friking dumb, even I need Joe Mama so fricking bad.

A side-by-side comparison of a girlfriend and a Keetongu figure, listing their attributes in table form. The girlfriend is described as being pretty but not always, knows makeup, will choose a bad boy, can break your heart, forces you to choose between her and friend, and is a weak fighter that needs protection. Keetongu is described as beautiful, with a symmetric shape, knows every kind of poison, will distinguish good and evil, will always protect with an absorbing shield, will help you save your friend, and can crush Sidorak with his bare hands.

What do you call a rapper with bad manners?

RUDE-ICROUS

Why was the rapper bad at basketball?

He could only dribble rhymes.

A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."

If you're having a bad day, just remember the Blobfish exists.

What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?

You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.

How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.

Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.

This isn't a joke.

There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!

There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.

Orphan joke protest! If you think orphan jokes are bad and wrong, then comment good comments; if not, then just comment! Let's reach 67,000 good comments!

Knock knock. Who's there? Bad joke.

What do you call a bad bull?

A bully.

Really bad penis joke.

Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.

Me: But you are not standing:)

I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.

'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!

Like I said, it's really bad. :(