Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamus` wife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus` wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
People say I LIKE UR CUT G. Which is when u get a fresh cut but I guess when u go bald we can say like ur forehead g
I know it’s really really really really really bad
Teacher: stand up if u think u r stupid
After awhile a student stands up.
Teacher: So u think u r stupid
Student: No I'm not stupid I just felt bad because u were standing by ur self.
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'Cause I'm in a great depression😎
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first? Patient: Good news! Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b
The doctor and said he had good news and bad news. The Good news is that you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is I forgot to call you yesterday.
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year. Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, i give you bad luck for 7 years. Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
What do you call a steak that tastes bad? A MISsteak
The mirror says: if you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck.
The Magic Jewel says: if you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck.
The condom just sitting there laughing.
What is the difference between shroud and a shroud imposter
Shroud uses reddit, and the imposter uses WJE
reddit king and q, i really dgaf what you say, you guys are practically obsessed with me cuz ur leaving hate comments on almost all my jokes, so stop, your obviously gonna look bad if you just insult meh jokes
If you guys dont like my jokes, you can just dislike and not leave a comment, ok?
So, I know that there are a lot of egg YOLKS on this website, and I guess I got BEAT to it, but I'm EGGcited to say EGGsactly what the eggs say. I know I;m bad at this but I hope you will crack up anywat
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
I have a huge thought, if s@tan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good.
doctors in the middle ages, Plague doctor: "i must have some herbs to block out bad air" docters now: "God, wtf were we doing back then"
why are asians so bad at baseball.... because they ate the bat
Why are orphans bad at basketball,They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them
Why is it bad is to climb a tree?
You might fall on an orphan🫥
why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
