Bad jokes
A penis has a bad life. His neighbor is an asshole, his friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.
Me: But you are not standing:)
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."
What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.
How do you rape someone? By forcing them to do it with you! Please comment! Bad or good! :)
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Deja Vu.
Your hairline is so bad when I looked at you, I had to use accessibility.
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.
I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.
Why did the zookeeper lose his job? For choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
He wasn't that bad.
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the New York Zoo.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Get in the car.
Ok, here's a story about the church.
There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.
Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.
Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.