Bad jokes
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
It's a grave mistake to talk badly about the death.
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮
Why is it bad to high five an emo?
They will leave themselves hanging.
Q: What do Olympians make bad DJs?
A: They keep breaking records!
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
This pun is so bad you're gonna punch me.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
Why are Amoebas so bad at math?
Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
Emo girls are bad, but what's worse? Cutting yourself.