Bad jokes
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)
That's it, it wasn't a joke.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
I feel bad for the people who were born on April 1.
Their life is a joke.
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.
They always start with two towers downed.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!
Emo girls are bad, but what's worse? Cutting yourself.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!