Back jokes

What is the best way to make a leaf?

Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!

Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.

Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?

The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

What do you call Shroud when he is hurt?

ShrOWd.

Guess what, Shroud is back on wje, I don't know why, but he is...

You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.

CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.

Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.

Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod

Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.

Your hairline is so far back, your barber didn't know where to start.

Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Back the halls with gasoline, la la la la la.

Light a match and watch it gleam, la la la la la.

My school is burnt into ashes, fa la la la la, la la la la.

Take a few steps back like your hairline.

Why do orphans like cows?

Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.

Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."

Your hairline goes back to the first century.

This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!

I confessed to my crush in preschool. Unfortunately, she rejected me. I just carried on and got right back to teaching.