Back jokes

Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!

Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.

Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?

Your hairline is so far back my grandpa said he had a glimpse of it in the 1960s.

Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?

Why did Jesus come back from the dead? He forgot to tell you that you're gay!

I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

My boyfriend dumped me. Guess who came back crawling for his zimmer frame?

"Go back to Party City, where you belong!" — Phi Phi O’Hara, RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.

Why is the sand always pissed off?

Because the sand never waves back!

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

I got fired for not doing enough work.

Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.

You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.

If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?

What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.

Why do orphans hate any milk?

Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧

What is the best way to make a leaf?

Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.

Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.