Baby Jokes

in Hairline

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you I thought to my self of the last time I was a baby


Love u baby :^

What’s the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?

I’m still trying to think of an answer.

the guy in your closet

Abortion is a really touchy subject for me, on one hand there’s dead babies! but on the other hand women get a choice

All normal sized babies a delivered by stork.

Heavier babies are delivered by crane.

in Miscarriage

Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive. Miscarriages is ok because God did not want the baby to be alive.

Awesome Boss Baby Fan
in Yo mama

Yo mama so non verbal that she’s Boss Baby


What bounces up and down at 100mph?

A baby tied to the back of a truck.

I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.

In his old life Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.

Baby: Stroll? Me: puts baby in stroller WE’RE GOING ON A STROLL! Baby: happily screams Stroller: front wheels break off Me: WE’RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS Baby: Oka- CRASH


Why are dead baby jokes always funny… They never get old


Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny… They never get old

igloo and you

What’s worse than three babies in one garbage can?

One baby in three garbage cans


How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car? Open a pizza shop 🍕


This isn’t a joke but I want to say this: why are on earth are you guys using something as traumatic and horrible as rape for your jokes/humor?! Rape is a very serious (and unfortunately common) issue, and by making jokes out of it, you’re making light of the situation. Further disregarding and diminishing the suffering of many rape victims. If you have the audacity to complain that people are getting mad at your rape jokes, then you’re just an egotistical baby. Grow up.

in Dark Humor

What is red and tan and spins for about 50mph??

A baby in a blender

in Dark Humor

how many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them

A New beginning Well I guess I should say my name. Okay well I am Aspen, Ezra is my annoying twin brother, and my two dads (Yes they are gay get over it) Oliver and Noah.

Baby me The way I always thought I was as a baby was sweet, caring, and lovable. But my brother says otherwise he claims I was Always angry with ‘someone’ (probably him) and that I never cared about him. On the other hand my dads said I was a troublemaker and they called me tornado because wherever I went I made a mess! The way I remember (vaguely) the orphanage it was pretty old and beat-up. There were bunk beds which were pretty nice I guess. My best and only friend Alyssa was one of the shortest kids there. She did not have many friends well nobody did. My brother was mostly popular (So he says) but I don’t believe him.

The day my dads adopted me was the best day ever! I mean I hated leaving Alyssa but I really didn’t have a choice. When you’re at the adoption center for a long time people want to adopt you less and less. People want to adopt babies more than anyone over 10 years old. At the time I was around eleven I guess. Anyways Alyssa was super nice about it and said “hey I mean we might see each other again!” which made me feel a little better but it’s highly doubtful we’ll see each other again.

i was bored and i dont expect anyone to read this but if you do like and comment if i should continue

That guy

Women say their baby daddies are trash like…woman didn’t he impregnat you and didn’t he win your heart, I’m mean his not trash you are!