Aviation jokes
My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.
How do you call a black pilot?
A pilot, you racist.
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
Teacher: Why did you throw paper airplanes at the twin sisters?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
Your forehead is so big you could have put an H for Kobe to land on.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Famous last words.
Twin towers: “Is it a bird, is it Superman? AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ!”
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
Q: How come in airports, they park the planes outside?
A: They don't belong in buildings.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
I don't like making jokes about 9/11... they tend to crash and burn.
What's simultaneously up and down?
A retard on a plane.
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."