At least jokes
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
At least the Twin Towers saw the parents they crashed on.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Orphan: I fucked your mom.
Kid: At least mine survived from it.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
Bully: "Hey little Timmy, you look like an ugly rat."
Timmy: "Well, at least I'm a good chef and I'm in a movie, unlike you."
Bully: Dies from embarrassment. 😱
I was invited into a celebrity's house, that's what I told the cops at least...
Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”
Two men walk into a bar. You’d think at least one of them would have ducked.
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.
What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?
At least the mountain has two hills.
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?
At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.
I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"
My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.
At least now I can have his phone he left.
Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?
Because it has at least one hundred degrees.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.