At least jokes
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
I adopted a dog. It's gone now.
At least homeless people in China are not starving.
What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?
Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.
What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory, and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work.
Paddy agrees to tell Seamus' wife the bad news. He knocks on the door, and Seamus' wife answers. "What's happened, Paddy?" Paddy frowns. "I'm sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, I'm so sorry." She started to cry and asked Paddy: "Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, "No, he got out 3 times for a pee."