Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.
What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?
A toothbrush.
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.
My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.
Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”
B: Can you please stop roasting me?
A: At least the "roasting" that I did to you didn't burn you to death.
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
