At least jokes

When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"

Did you know pigeons die after sex? At least when I fucked it.

Eminem: "He don't even know his own father." Orphans: Dang, wish I could listen to that. Eminem: At least you have a rap God to call father.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked at least.

Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?

If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Well, at least one gets picked.

At least Africans don't have to worry about food critics.

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.

All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.

My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.

What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.

At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.

What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?

They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.

Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory, and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work.

Paddy agrees to tell Seamus' wife the bad news. He knocks on the door, and Seamus' wife answers. "What's happened, Paddy?" Paddy frowns. "I'm sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, I'm so sorry." She started to cry and asked Paddy: "Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, "No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

What did the kid say to the orphan?

"Well, at least I have parents!"

I respect cancer more than I respect depression.

At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.

My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.

Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”

Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?

A: At least you don't die when you shower.

I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.

Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.

...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.