Astronomy jokes

Do people live on the Earth 🌏? Yes, a lot of people live on the Earth 🌎.

You look tall for being 432,450 miles tall!

What is Saturn's favorite day?

Saturday!

Henry is in Uranus.

How does NASA fart?

They fart with their ass-teroids.

How do you plan a party in outer space?

You planet.

What is a nut that is in outer space?

A broken nut.

You're so fat when you step, you break the galaxy.

Yo hairline goes so back it touches Jupiter.

Why is Uranus like paper? Because you do see the other side.

Where did the moon go to space? To the moon!

If Uranus was a dick, then why do they make Uranus?

Friend, your mum's fat.

Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.

Why did the astronaut bring the seeds to space?

Because he wants to planet the seed! 🤣🤣🤣

Why did the cow go to space? To go to the moon!

My friend, what's up?

Me: What's up in space is planets and stars.

Jupiter

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.

So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.

So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.