Astronomy jokes
How do you organize a space themed birthday party?
You planet.
What is big, round, and gassy? Uranus.
Sun.
If Uranus was a dick, then why do they make Uranus?
My friend, what's up?
Me: What's up in space is planets and stars.
How do you plan a party in outer space?
You planet.
What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
Your hairline is like the universe, still waiting to be discovered.
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
How Jupiter was discovered.
Once there was a fat lady who farted yellow, orange, and peach. All that fart went to space and created a planet that NASA saw and went over there, but it smelled really bad.
Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
RIP Stephen Hawking who was buried today... he did always love black holes.
If Uranus is so gross, why do they take HD photos of it?
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
Community talk
A black hole is a region in space where gravity is so strong that nothing, not even light, can escape from it, usually forming when a massive star collapses under its own gravity at the end of its life. The boundary around it is called the event horizon, and once anything crosses this boundary, it cannot return. Black holes are mainly described by their mass, spin, and electric charge, and they come in several types,… Read more
Js got cussed out for a good 10 mins cause i spaced out talking abt the science behind black holes. Love you too, Mom.
Who else here likes outer space? I'm bored and wanna go on a rant