Astronomy jokes

What did the cow say at night? Look at the moooon.

Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?

What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.

“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”

No sun.

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈

Your hairline is so big, I couldn't find the area of it on Jupiter.

Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.

Why did the rapper bring a telescope to the studio?

To see his FUTURE in the STARS.

I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.

NASA called me and they said they reached your hairline.

How do stars die?

Normally, an overdose.

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

Dear NASA, your mom thought I was big enough.

–Pluto.

What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?

Mars bars.

Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?

Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!

How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?

You rocket!

Did you know? The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!

What do Americans and stars have in common?

They both love shooting up.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space.

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

Yo mama so fat you can see her from 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 galaxies away!