Astronomy jokes
I go to Venus to get a bigger penis.
Yo mama so ugly, it made the world stop spinning.
What do you get when you combine a planet and an apple?
Mario.
How do stars die? Usually a overdose in an airport.
Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)
How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?
By the rings around it.
Why did the rapper bring a telescope to the studio?
To see his FUTURE in the STARS.
Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.
Does that neverending forehead of yours go all the way to Mars, holy fucking shit?
Did you know? The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!
Phobos and Deimos are just asteroids in moon costumes, and Mars was blind due to its frequent sandstorms, so it let Phobos and Deimos be its moons.
Uranus is pronounced "ur anus."
How do stars get their name?
By a black hole because it's sueeeee!
Uranus craps diamonds and is a cow 🐮.
I heard that Uranus is pronounced "yuuranus," but it reminded me of urine! 😆
The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.
What is Saturn's favorite song?
"7 Rings."
Why is there a hole in Uranus?
Little Johnny when he makes a Uranus joke:
Little Johnny: I have achieved comedy! 😂😂😂😂😂
What would Earth say if it had a boyfriend?
You need to com-it.