Astronomy jokes
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀
I go to Venus to get a bigger penis.
What do you get when you combine a planet and an apple?
Mario.
Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)
Yo mama so ugly, it made the world stop spinning.
How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?
By the rings around it.
Why did the rapper bring a telescope to the studio?
To see his FUTURE in the STARS.
Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.
Did you know? The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!
Does that neverending forehead of yours go all the way to Mars, holy fucking shit?
Why is NASA so sus?
'Cause they wanted to see Uranus.
Uranus is pronounced "ur anus."
What’s the length difference between your hairline and Saturn? Nothing.
You're so black, when you get near the sun, we go into a solar eclipse.
Why did NASA have to go to space? Because space is lonely.
Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!
The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.
I always knew that Maranda Sings was orbiting Uranus.
Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Kid 2: Why?
Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.
What is Saturn's favorite song?
"7 Rings."