Astronomy jokes
Why is Mercury so hot? I know, because the sun is killing Mercury.
What does NASA stand for?
Not A Space Agency.
Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.
Yo hairline goes so back it touches Jupiter.
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Because it looks like a g-nome.
Fun fact: Most of the black holes in the universe are found in Africa!
Timmy has 5 apples.
His train is 7 minutes early.
Calculate the mass of the sun.
If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.
Can we have a party in space?
First, we need to planet ;)
Get it? "Plan it" = planet.
Why is Mars red? Because it saw Uranus! 😂
Did you know? The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!
Which planet would I consider dating?
I don’t know, but not Saturn because she’s already got a ring on her.
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
More like your anus.
Why is NASA so sus?
'Cause they wanted to see Uranus.
Yo mama so fat, her future is brighter than VY Canis Majoris!
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
Your hairline is so close to Earth, it's 100 million lightyears away!