Ass Jokes

3 europeans come to America. They all get captured by native americans and they want to kill them. But the europeans beg to have their lives spared. The native americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The native american says "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the native americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The native american tells him the same thing. He laughs and the native american kills him. They both see eachother in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy so thats why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yea I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"

the stigg and his fake ass life

Y'all are so rude on here- If you don't like what I put on MY profile you can click your rude ass off of my profile and look at some other fucking jokes. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING RUDE TO SAY ABOUT ME!!

Ashes to ashes, Priests prever boys, cause they dont have to shave their asses.

if you go broke you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead

My girl ask me have i seen a gorilla anywhere i told yes i did see one a minute ago at the central park zoo he said if you don't behave he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abanded for good.

who is the most horny and fat ass god? - kim jung un

My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat ass brother

I met a gay guy last night Man was he a pain in the ass

Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings abc 123 get your fat ass off of me !!!!

Meat stands for M-monitoring. E-evaluating. A-assessing/addressing. T-treatment. So when your shoving meat up peoples asses then your monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them

kid: aye mum imma do somthing dad could never do mum: and that is? *kid walks out* *kid comes back in with milk* mum:imma beat ya ass

3 guys landed on a cannibal island. the Cannibal chef told them if you want to live to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to me and I will tell you what to do. so the first guy brings 10 apples and the chef said if you can shove all 10 of those in your ass without making a sound you can live. He was 3 apples in made a sound and they ate him. the second guy brought grapes. 9 grapes in and burs ted out laughing. The Cannibals ate him. then the first guy said why you laugh you were almost there. the other guy who had the grapes said I couldn't help it I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples.

A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."

why do men like big tits and a flat ass? because they got little dicks and big mouths.

your so dumb that Everytime you use the bathroom you use your shoe to wipe your ass

You work at papa's pizzaria ok?

Boss: your fired! Me: ok? Worker: Why are you fired? Me: oh you wanna know... *shows him the oven with my pizza* Me: I left my pizza in the oven that bitch burnt as fuck!! Worker: OH SHIT!! Boss: did you say pizza? Me: i sure did! *shows boss pizza in oven* Me: this hoe black as fuck! Boss: i fired you because i count stop looking at your ass not this why?

The American salute start's with your hand being facing flat towards the ground on your head. The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American Salute. The French salute starts your hands in the air. The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.