Ass jokes
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"
The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?
The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.
T-Series.
Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure.
What do you call an ass that’s a DETECTIVE?
An undercover pooper.
What did the ass say to the joke?
"You crack me up!"
What do you call an ass on a beach?
Sandy cheeks!
What do asses and secrets have in common?
Both are better when not leaked!
How do you make an ass laugh?
Crack a CHEEKY JOKE.
I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.
Rice Middle School
Don't scare me! I poop easily!
Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.
Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.