Ass jokes
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?
The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.
Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.
T-Series.
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
What is gayer than man sex ring?
Not slapping the ass at Hooters.
You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.
Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson & Neil Armstrong? A: Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson f@ck$ little kids in the a$$!
My ass itches.
Even the World Trade Center underwent a better upgrade than your ugly ass.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.
You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.
There were two twins, and they were both very tall.
The next thing they knew, they were on the floor, and there were planes up their asses.
Kaleb: Addison, are you okay???
Addison: Not at all. People think I'm annoying and stupid! Do you?
Kaleb: Yes, once I pound you in the ass.
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Rice Middle School
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure.