Ass jokes

What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?

The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.

Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.

Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.

What's the difference between a cop and bacon?

Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.

What do you call an ass on a beach?

Sandy cheeks!

How do you make an ass laugh?

Crack a CHEEKY JOKE.

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.

My ass itches.

Even the World Trade Center underwent a better upgrade than your ugly ass.

Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson & Neil Armstrong? A: Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson f@ck$ little kids in the a$$!

Kaleb: Addison, are you okay???

Addison: Not at all. People think I'm annoying and stupid! Do you?

Kaleb: Yes, once I pound you in the ass.

What is gayer than man sex ring?

Not slapping the ass at Hooters.

What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?

Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.

There were two twins, and they were both very tall.

The next thing they knew, they were on the floor, and there were planes up their asses.

When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.

If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.

You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.