Asked jokes

Do you think we should ask the orphan's parents' permission?

Wait... nevermind.

A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.

He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.

My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.

Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.

You can't drink alcohol or dance.

Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.

I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"

Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.

Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.

Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"

One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.

Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"

Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."

These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.

I saw a kid crying, so I asked them, "Where are your parents?" Then she cried harder, so I left the orphanage.

I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"

The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."

A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?

I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.

God, orphanages are fun to work at!!

A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."

When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.