Asked Jokes

We asked our teacher many times for an atlas and he said "atlast you can have one"

I saw a kid crying today I asked him where his parents where. I love working at a orphanage

They asked to tell them a joke so i said no

One time, I bought a magnet, my wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself, I felt attracted to it.

Somebody asked me whats that on your arm I just said "My cats got ocd"

My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh this, I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."

Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."

When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I ́m still choosing." She looked horrified.

My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him but and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."

He told me that he was in a wheelchair and I asked "Oh, wheely?"

I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.

I saw a kid in the yard and i asked where are your parents. then i got fired from the orphanage

I asked stephen if he was a organ donator and he said why i said thats a shame i need parts for my go cart

A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “she was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “perform the fucking autopsy!”