An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
why did the baker give the shopper a butt? because she asked for buns!!
The other day me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts I was wearing a black top she was wearing a stripy top we were arguing abt who was more creative when she asked to prove that I am I just said "u buy ur stripes, I make mine"
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
A man went to the library and asked for a book about suicide. The librarian said go away you won’t bring it back
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don't like going to school
Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey
Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."
Someone asked me, 'What are them scars on your arm ? ..' I thought I was playing a violin '
I got suspended for asking an emo kid if he wants to hang out with me
A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The Bartender asks him why And the Pirate says: Argh, It's driving me nuts.
The judge asked me "How does 5 to 10 years sound?" I said "Sexy."
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer, that at least i can scan my worth at the supermarket.
Someone asked me why I'm Still here...the answer is simple I don't want to be used as a school assembly
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
Officer sees a man and he is seeing he is having trouble walking so he asked him "sir are you drunk?" The man responds "No sir i'm not drunk." So the Officer asks "how high are you?" And the man responds "no sir, its high how are you."
my mom said take out the trash and i said okay. the next day she asked "where is your sister", and i said in line to get crushed.
