Asked jokes

People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"

"Yeah, over my dead body!"

A kid asks Trump:

Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"

Trump: "There they are, bud!"

Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.

I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."

How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?

"Wanna hang together?"

I’m really good at algebra. I can replace your X without even asking Y.

Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.

I saw a kid crying, sitting on the sidewalk, and I asked him where his parents were. He then cried even more. God, I love working at the orphanage.

I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.

Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:

"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."

I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.

As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”

George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”

Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.

"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.

The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.

At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

Orphans around my area only watched Youtube Shorts.

I asked them and then realized they can't click the home button.

Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.