Army jokes

Q: What do you call 6 gay men in the army?

A: Rainbow Six Siege.

Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.

If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.

What is an army member's top drink?

WARter.

Stephen Hawking can't stand for army.

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.

A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"

A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:

Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?

Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.

*Loud explosion inside the tank* "Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."

Gay people would suck at war.

So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.

They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."

Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?

He got caught playing with his Privates!

What does Army stand for?

Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

Going in a military.

The last thing I heard from them is: "Goodbye!"

Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.

I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.

What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?

Special Forces.

Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.