Arms

Arms Jokes

My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh this, I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."

after a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs, i replied "OF COURSE NOT, I AMPUTATED YOUR FUCKING ARMS!"

3

A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said: "I have good news and bad news." The wife said: "What's the good news? "We managed to save his arm." "What's the bad news?" "We couldn't save the rest of him."

2

Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!

Mom: Exactly.

One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)

Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”

Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms? Because everything they do is in vein Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".

If you watch " jaws" backward it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who giving arms and legs to disable people

Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms. Knock knock, Who’s there? Not lil Susie

1

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel

so a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him he was about to jump until he saw from a mountain side a little guy with no arms dancing around so he thought maybe my life aint so bad so he went to the mountain side thank you he said i was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until i saw you dancing even though youu have no arms dancing? the armless man said bitterly my asshole itches and i cant scratch it

You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

Why did little sally fall of the swings? Because she had no arms What did sally get for Christmas? Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box

My best friend looked at my arms and said “stop sh it’s bad” then turns right around and says “you look like a tiger”

so from here on out i am now Finn the self harming tiger