Arms jokes
Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:
"I have good news and bad news."
The wife said: "What's the good news?"
"We managed to save his arm."
"What's the bad news?"
"We couldn't save the rest of him."
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.
What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.
What is the difference between a human and a human rights act and a walk home and walk walk home from home and walk walk home and a wheelchair to wheelchair and wheelchair to wheelchair for wheelchair home night time to a home was fun at home night was the day I had dinner is it fun for me I was going to be a walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home night time?
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?
Someone lunged at me, armed with an unregistered nurse. I hit the floor.
A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"
The son: "I don't know, can I?"
The mom: "May you?"
The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
Why was Huggy Wuggy not able to hug Cody’s mom?
Because she was so fat he couldn’t fit his arms around her.
I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?
Where you left it.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
Why did Shelley fall off the swing? She had no arms.