Arms Jokes

If you watch jaws backwards it's a heartworming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people

Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”

A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says "Okay I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts". So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me??" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."

i can here thunder outside which i find weird since the lightning is on my arm....

I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times 😏

a little boy decided to burn a house down. the father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "thats arson"

friend: “ whats that on your arm” me: “ oh nothing just decided i wanted to cosplay a tiger “

My arms are just a diffrent texture pack compared to my body.

Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms? Because everything they do is in vein Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".

whats the difference between my arm and my stomach???? my stomach isnt ripped

One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)

When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm and I asked her what she was doing and she answered "Oh I had to buy you so I don't steal you"

What is red and looks like a zebra

my arm Hehhehehehe UwU

On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous",

I'm dying to live forever !

so a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him he was about to jump until he saw from a mountain side a little guy with no arms dancing around so he thought maybe my life aint so bad so he went to the mountain side thank you he said i was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until i saw you dancing even though youu have no arms dancing? the armless man said bitterly my asshole itches and i cant scratch it

This boy heard from a friend that if you tell an adult "I know the whole truth" they will be all weird so he went home and told his mom "I know the whole truth" and she gave him 20$ and said to keep quiet. Pleased when his dad got home he said "I know the whole truth" and his dad gave him 40$ an said don't tell mom. really pleased he met the mailman the next day and said "I know the whole truth" then the mailman got down on his knee opened his arms and said come to daddy.