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Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked in to the classroom. The teacher asked them, “Why are you arguing?”

One of the boys replied, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher. “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil’s advocado.

My sister argued with me that you can’t make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta

A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an englishman. He says things like,

“It’s a elevator, not’a lift!”

and

“It’s bathroom! Not ‘washroom’!”

He keeps going on until the englishman says,

“Hey wankar, it’s a school, not a god damned shootin range.”

2 brothers were arguing. one went: your an idiot. the other went: your brother a mother. he replied: yeah i know. thanks for agreeing with me