New Arguing Jokes

Government Briefing:

Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...

...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.

An optimist says, "the glass is half full." A pessimist says, "the glass if half empty." A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air." Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water."

Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk? He didn't have a good counter act

A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing The beer bottle says: if you break me you get one year of bad luck The mirror scoffs: oh, that's nothing, you break me and you get 7 years of bad luck. The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing

If 2 vegans are arguing is it still considered beef?

John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather. Chloe says "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic" John says "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler"

one day in roblox someone was arguing with me and they asked me my age. 18. they said that they were twenty two. Me: if your so smart, whats the largest daycare game on roblox? Him:Yo Hair. he said. then he left the game. and a said that is so messed up. actually that bullcrap.

My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop, it went a little bit like this:

Me; dude, leave her alone. Him; beat it b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me; ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis Him; *walks away*

Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing? A: A knife has a point

is it still called beef if two vegetarians are arguing?

The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."

people: *are arguing about stopping orphan jokes* me: m e h. i d o n t c a r e

My dad tells me and my sister to stop arguing so she elbowed me in my damn nose

My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing so I threw her out the window instead

Two friends are arguing and one friend says ̈Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs ands or buts about it ̈ and the other friend says ̈Butt He is ̈.

If you argued that god was a woman 49.8% of the US population would try and raise Hell Just to ask the other guy. Talk about a male supremacist religion.

Little johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off. *What was that dad?" Asked lil johnny. "oh just a bug." Said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face he then says. "That bug sure had a big dick didn't he?"

Dont worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head

A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite. And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to the they get orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine." The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked "Now what?"