Ares jokes
I can tell a joke :)
Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?
Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.
9/11 jokes are the bomb.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have no balls, neither will you. 🔪🔪
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
Because they don't know what a full house is!
What are Michael Jackson’s pronouns? He/heeeeeee.
What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? "He he."
Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!
I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.
I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?
My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...
She couldn't do either!
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"