Ares jokes
An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims.
Where are your parents? Oh, behind you? Not any more.
Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.
Hitla: That's exactly what I said.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home plate.
Memes
When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.
Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples are picked.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.
IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
Mommy, mommy! Are we outlaws? Your stepmom thinks so.
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
Why are my students so naughty?
300? You are a 3.0.
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
"Mommy, mommy! Are we janitors?"
"Shut up and pass me the mop."