Ares jokes
Hi Explain Bear, how are youuu!
What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"
Why are pirates named pirates?
Cuz they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
I said, "Are you half left or half right?"
"Neither! In-between."
"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"
When we take a family photo, you are the background.
What do math and me on P-hub have in common?
They are both hard.
Me: Which WiFi are we on?
Coworker: Should be floor 89.
Me: What about flight 104?
Coworker: Oh crap!
If laughter is contagious, Kris's jokes are immunity.
Some people are such "treasures" that you just want to bury them.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
What do you call crabs that do not share their food?
They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ
The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your eyes' reflection, My dreams come true.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Through highs and lows, I'll be here for you.
I am Asian.
I am so Asian my pronouns are: heeEEE/Ya.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they are fucking assholes.
Clothes are gay. They're in a closet.
Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.