Ares jokes

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Orphanage

  • So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"

    Why can't he say that?

    Answer: He works at an orphanage.

    Orphan

  • You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

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    Gummy bear

  • A B C D E F G.

    Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!

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    Duck

  • If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.

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    Bigfoot

  • So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.

    One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"

    He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"

    Orphan

  • Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

    Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

    Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

    Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

    Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

    Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

    Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

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    Fireman

  • A fireman, a policeman, and a carpenter went on a fishing trip. The fireman and the policeman both have the same father but different mothers, and they are half-brothers. But the fireman and the carpenter have the same mother and father, but they are not brothers. How is this possible?

    Leave you answer in the comments. The answer will be revealed in 24 hours.

    Plane

  • There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.

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    Cremation

  • Setting: Funeral Home

    Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.

    Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.

    Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?

    Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.

    Customer: Okay?

    Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.

    By: MiniMemorials.com

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    Comment

  • Comments of Gwen in her bra!

    Jordan Jadoke: Wow such a good looking kid!

    Heo: Dude stop! Who the hell got this!

    prince/mr tallie: Hey stop!

    YOU: Sexy sexy sexxy! How much does she cost!

    Kenya Bailey: NOTHING SHE IS NOT A SEX SLAVE SHE IS PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Fuck u Kenya: SHUT UP!

    Big Ideas: Do u think I hav a chance with her? Cause if then SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Kariah: STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Mariah: U GUYS EXPECT PRINCE, HEO, AND KENYA ARE GOOD PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT CHILD MOLESTERS!!!!!!!!!!

    Hot: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

    Fring: I want to take u home all to my self!

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    Cannibal

  • How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?

    You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.

    You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.

    He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.

    You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.

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  • Parent

  • Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.

    Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.

    Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!

    If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.

    Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.

    I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?

    If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.

    If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!