Ares jokes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thank God I'm not as ugly as you.

Bully: How’s your girlfriend?

Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?

Bully: *cries*

Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*

How are orphans and apples different?

One gets picked.

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

What's the difference between emos and 9/11?

The emos are still there, high up off the ground.

Are you feeling down? Because I wanna feel you up.

You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

Why are emo kids the best jumpers?

Because they never fall down.

The convoy truckers are a joke.

A priest walked in and said to the kids,

"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"

Ms. Norsworthy's chompers are so big they killed a kid once.

Poles are as straight as adopted kids' parents.

Obi-Wan be like:

"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"

"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

Sup guys, how are you?

Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

Orphan: I’m gonna tell my parents!

Me: Where are they?

Orphan: ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄