Ares jokes

Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...

Why are nuts on boys?

You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."

To Gwen and Freshfry: Hi Gwen and Freshfry, you have been so amazing to me and now to my sister. You are the people who I look up to. People are mean to us because I am adopted. Thank you for all of your support!

Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!

Bob Weir: Where are you going?

Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈

You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.

Roses are red.

I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.

A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"

He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"

If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.

"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."

Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.

A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"

Why are the best used guns from France?

Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.

Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!

Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.

Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.

If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

Your mom is fat and so are you.